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Peter Nguyens Terribly Awesome Essays Of Elia

Peter Nguyen strikes again!

My favourite lines are:

"In the war of 1812, Osama bin Laden declared Jihad on the West Coast and killed Tupac. In retaliation, we tried killing Saddam Hussein but accidentally killed the Notorious Biggie Smalls."

"Many nations are poor because they have no money. ...  I think they try to eat the money because they're spoiled by missionaries who give them food instead of teaching them how to get money. I think thay's what they mean by 'nickels a day can feed a child.' I thought, 'how could food be so cheap over there?' It's not, they just eat the nickels"

"When Americans first came to this nation, the Indians picked a lot of fights and killed America's best friend (not Mexico). The Americans got really pissed and became the United States of America 2 (US2) and killed all the Indians."

"In conclusion, the USA rules and everyone else drools.  That's why I don't let other nations in my secret clubhouse. Other nations and girls. In conclusion girls are icky."

- Вы что-то нашли. - Вроде.  - У Соши был голос провинившегося ребенка.  - Помните, я сказала, что на Нагасаки сбросили плутониевую бомбу.

- Да, - ответил дружный хор голосов.

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